Blame it on the Rain

Ok, so why is www.weather.com now one of the most visited sites on my computer? You might say, now that’s a silly question Emily, you live in Portland, Oregon. Yes, we all know that Portland has some of the most unpredictable weather ever, but honestly, this year has been worse than some. I guess it also doesn’t help that I work at a restaurant with an outdoor patio, where summer is the season to make money, and winter turns the waterfront into a desolate barren no-mans-land. That really puts the pressure on summer weather to deliver. I mean seriously, we only get three months of sunny weather per year round these parts.

The problem is this; May’s weather was extremely unseasonably warm. For three weeks it was almost 90 degrees and gorgeous, and now it’s back to typical June weather in Portland; overcast, rainy and cool. But, do the people that write my work schedule consider this, oh no, not for a second. For the last two weeks I was scheduled outside four out of my five night shifts. Now that’s pushing it. Luckily, I’ve found a way to weasel my way into scoring shifts, just like I always do, but it’s a major pain in the you-know-what.

So, I’m blaming it on the rain. All my problems, worries and woes are now the fault of the weather alone. I’ve come to really like this philosophy. It takes a lot of pressure off of me, and I’m not so bitter towards my managers. I suggest others start blaming it on the rain as well, or the snow, or the humidity, or whichever other weather conditions you might have to live with. I might just start blaming it all on Zeus, and that way we can put a face to a name. Or we could blame it all on Milli Vanilli for “performing” such a brainless but addicting song that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since I thought of the title for this post. Either way, don’t blame it on me, and don’t always trust the 10 day forecast. Even the internet gods are wrong sometimes.

Soon to Come...Blame it On the Rain...

The Curious Case of the Portland Waterfront

It’s an absolutely gorgeous day. The sun is shining, a light breeze ruffles the wind through the trees, birds are singing softly while boats rock gently against the little waves of the Willamette River. Mount Hood stands proudly in the background, peaking his pointy white head out from behind a building. The bridges, tall and sturdy, are the backdrop to the city, spreading out as far as the eye can see in both directions. The air is clear and crisp and clean, and sitting there taking it all in you almost feel like you are off in paradise somewhere, away from Portland and the hustle and bustle of city life.

Then, the shrill chirp of a bicycle bell breaks the peaceful calm as bikers zoom by on tandem bikes of all shapes and sizes. Four very loud animated men cruise by in a large cart that they all must pedal to keep from crashing. I watch them ride down the sidewalk as a path clears for them involuntarily. It is a bachelor party on wheels. The groom has a huge ball and chain attached to his waist; it hangs down grazing the sidewalk, resounding with a clunk, clunk, clunk.

There are children running, skating and dancing everywhere, some with ice cream melting down their sticky chins, others who are screaming bloody murder. Their parents look tired and sweaty, in dire need of an ice cold drink. They also look shocked as black-faced homeless men who possess very little clothing, or balance, stumble down the patio, digging in trash cans for discarded food and empty bottles that they can add to the collections building up in their homemade carts. Some have dirty dogs that they drag along with them, or carry in their arms because it is too hot. Some of these dogs stop to lap up cool water from the bowls set up along the sidewalk. Others are too timid to stray from their masters.

There are masses of other clean, not so timid, sometimes overly confident dogs as well. They come in all shapes and sizes, some seem to match the appearance of their owners, and others are just mutts who still fit nicely into the scene. The dogs have a language all their own as they bark hellos, and sniff each other until they are satisfied with the unspoken agreement they have come to. Of course the inevitable scuffle breaks out about every twenty minutes, as little dogs scream at big dogs, and big dogs meet each other in stately challenges. They block the paths of the countless joggers and walkers streaming down the esplanade and nearly pull their owners to the ground.

Yes, the Portland waterfront is quite a curious place, and amidst all this activity and excitement is me, trying to find some sanity and a sense of organization inside the chaos. It’s the kick off of the Rose Festival, not to mention the best weather Portland has seen over Memorial Day weekend in years, and most importantly the start of summer. For me, this means I need to get ready to run my butt off for the next three months, and find a way to drown out all the distractions happening around me. My top priority being to deliver minty mojitos and highly sought after Alaskan King Salmon to patrons galore, and to forget the sweat pouring down my brow and the never ending circus music playing in the back of my head. It’s my money making time as a waitress on the Portland waterfront, and make money is exactly what I plan to do. Besides that I’ll probably lose five pounds and have a chance to work on my tan while I’m at it. So, if you can’t find me, haven’t heard from me, or think I’ve fallen off the face of the earth, don’t fret my dear friends. If you come to the Waterfront, I’m sure you’ll see me there. Just don’t ride your bike please. Those bells drive me crazy.
Check out the bike I would ride as a circus performing server on the Waterfront!